The Quirky life of a Writer

Soon! I promise!

2008-05-11T14:29:00.003+10:00

Hey everybody!

Exciting news! I'll be back soon!... ish.

I have half yearlys for the next two weeks and a few more updates to finish before I get back, so I'll be back any time from 2 weeks till a month from now. Most likely sooner than later-- I have exciting updates for heaps of stories! At the moment, I've finished updates for Bittersweet memories, I Can't Say Stop and Thought You Should Know. There's one more update left for Thought You Should Know so I'll finish that before I come back. Then I have a half finished chapter of We Must Always Walk Alone which I'll finish, then I hope for another update for both Bittersweet Memories and Without a Trace. I'm not sure about the last two, but that's what I'm aiming for at the moment.

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, I've just started playing a double soccer season and the constant exercise has stopped me from getting stressed and depressed.

gtg, family's here.
will update again later,
Schaefy

Breaktime

2008-05-03T11:19:00.002+10:00

Hey Everyone,
Ok, hopefully some of you have actually made the switch from fanfic ( no one usually reads this). Anyway, so here's my first update on my break.

Well I've already finished the next chapter of Bittersweet Memories and sent it to my beta. I'm planning on finishing a few updates for other stories before I come back to catch them up, and to make sure I can handle whatever school throws at me. I'm going to finish Thought You Should Know (which has one update left), at least one or two updates for Without a Trace, I Can't Say Stop (which I've starter-- shock, horror!!) and at least one or two updates for We Must Always Walk Alone. Yeah, you could say I have a little work to do. Plus somemore of Bittersweet Memories. So it's going to be a little busy soon enough.

I don't know how on earth I'm ever going to get all of that done but I will eventually. Someday. Maybe in five years or so.

Anyway so I should be back in a while at least after I've finished a few updates to keep the stories under control.
Anyway, Homework calls,
Cheers,
Schaefy

Hello Again!

2008-03-26T18:24:00.001+11:00

Hey Everybody!
Thought I'd stick a little entry in here since I've been wanting to for ages and I've just had heaps of fun writing the next two chapters of "Without a Trace'. Soooo much fun planning what happened to Tank. And whats going to happen to him. Trust me, it's hilarious. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
Haha.

Thought I'd add some stuff here about chapters 3 and 4 ... coz I wanted to. Haha. Lol.
Nyho's enough of this lighthearted fluffing around! Down to business.

Chapter 1:
I thought the first bit was written pretty well actually which is pretty rare for thinking about my own writing, but i kinda like this bit. I've been reading it over just now-- pretty intense huh?? There's the angst in the story>> it'll always be there, even in humour?!

lol... it's what comes from being an angsty writer... sigh. lol.

Five Months Earlier
Haha, this bit was soo much fun to write. It was inspired by a similar happening in another story I read (different person, different surroundings and whatever, I just liked the idea) but i loved it happening to Tank. Quite funny I can tell you. Sammy's a fun character to write with-- I guess shes what Steph would have been if she hadn't been raised in the Burg, with no limitations. She's a totally awesome character. I'm not sure this section of the chapter was written as well as it could have been-- but I like it all the same.

Unfortunately will have to continue this later-- Gtg to soccer training.
Cya soon!
Schaefy

Long time, no see!

2008-02-29T17:26:00.002+11:00

Hey all, my devoted and avid readers of my blog!

Sorry I haven't posted in like FREAKIN AGES OMG!! Lol... so lonely without my fanfic friends - it's nice to have someone love my work, and actually be able to show it to someone. I missed everyones reviews! School has been REALLY hectic at the moment - loads of tests and assignments - but the worst is over this week - a few more next week then I'm pretty much free!! HOORAY!! Then Easter break - five days of non-stop writing HALLELUJAH!!!, two weeks of school then TWO WEEKS OF NON STOP WRITING!! HOORAY!!! God, I'm so fed up of school atm. I've been really sick and theres been all sorts of pressure with getting assignments in I missed and doing tests I missed and whatever. But its over, Thank God.

So back to writing: I started a new story!! Hooray! It's Called We Must All Walk Alone, and it's a songfic to "Conversations with my Thirteen Year Old Self" by Pink. An awesome song (and album!! I LOVE IT! Album is called "I'm not Dead" in case you want to steal it/buy it/download it... whatever. Be responsible people!) and I strongly recommend it - one of my fav albums ever!! Anyways I have wanted to write this story for ages - since probably January but I couldn't get the lyrics till end of January and I wanted to finish a couple of the old stories so I wouldn't leave any loose ends. Eh, who am I kidding, I'm the Queen of loose ends when it comes to Unfinished storyies - I just want to start new ones??!! lol, frustrating for the reader coz they don't get an ending and frustrating for me because I want to have a sense of finality on it, and be able to start the next story with a clear conscience. So I have a bit of work to do at the moment, storywise. Lol.

I currently have five unfinished stories lol. I guess I better give you an update on them..
Wait no, I take that back! I have only four.

Plum Holey: Dude.. how many times will I go over this?? Plum Holey was the first story I ever started writing, so it's kinda like a draft to work out my writing style, my editing process, what I like to happen in my stories and that sort of thing. I'm concentrating on all my new stories at the moment and I don't think it's likely I'll finish this story until I figure out an idea of whats going to happen a bit more. At the moment, I have no idea. So just let that one go... lol.

Bittersweet Memories: I really like this story so far even though it's only one chapter - it's one of the most angsty stories I've ever written but I really like what I've got going in it so far. I know what's going to happen in it - its only really got one or two more chapters in it, so all I have to do is write them I guess! But I know I love this story too much to let it go so this one will definitely be finished some time in the next few months.

Without A Trace: I Love this story!! Its so funny! Especially to write!, I've actually started the next few sentences of the next chapter and I know vaguely whats going to happen in it.. it's just kinda my really happy and funny story to fall back on when I get temporarily sick of writing angst all the time. This one will DEFINITELY be added to and completed because I enjoy writing it too much to leave it!

We Must Always Walk Alone: I Really like this story idea too, and it's my main focus at the moment apart from I Can't Say Stop (ooh crap it is actually five stories I haven't finished.. oops. Lol.) The plan for the story so far means that it isn't all that long, but i'm thinking about extending it more because the current ending is a little melodramatic.

I Can't Say Stop: My current major story at the moment. The Plan means that this story really doesn't go for all that much longer, but I'm really thinking of continuing it on longer if I think of more stuff to happen. I don't know - I kinda want to see if I could maintain one of the super long stories that go for like 100,000 words. I'll see.

So there are all my current stories at the moment! I have to go do some homework so I can type up the next chapter of WMWA (We Must Always Walk Alone) that I promised to about seven people!

Thanks guys,
Schaefy

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-23T08:08:00.000+11:00

Hey All,
Happy new Year! Ommigod it's 08-- does that not sound weird to you? anyways BIG NEWS!

ready for it??

You Sure??

The Superhero's Redemption is FINALLY finished! 21 421 words (the longest story I've written as well as the only sequel) and it's done. Hoorah! I'm so proud of it - It's the most impulsive, least planned, best written story so far.

I'm planning on doing more chapter ... analysis if that's what you want to call it, for the other half of the story because I really liked rereading the first section, it reminde me of everything I had done. But not now, I hafta go out in half an hour.

I'll type up the next story-- It's a songfic but I won't tell you to what yet, but I'm not sure I'm going to end it where I said - I think there is maybe more to it if I wanted to work on it. But then again I don't know. I've also started the story after, called "I can't say stop", and I really love the beginning, so that will be up really soon. you'll understand the storyline when I upload it soon, if I give it to you now it would sort of ruin it.
So sayonara til next time and if anyone actually reads this feel free to leave a comment.
Schaefy

Nye.. Sorry..

2007-12-27T22:33:00.000+11:00

Hey guys, whats shakin?

Ok, so I haven't submitted promised chapter of SR (Superheros Redemption). I HAVE AN EXCUSE! .. sort of. Anyway, I've written about half of it but I didn't feel like writing it when I did. So my process of writing is to handwrite it, type it up while adding in more stuff or cutting - basically the major edit, then spellcheck and maybe another read through if I'm really not sure. So I haven't ever actually scrapped anything on paper yet but I'm really not satisfied at how the first part has turned out and I think ultimately I'll scrap it and write it again when I'm in the mood. Which may perhaps mean that I don't submit it before the holidays.I'm sorry!!!! But I really don't want to submit somethng half-hearted that is pretty chickenshit. (my new fav word... yea don't ask.. lol)

So apart from feeling really guilty about that today I read a REALLY REALLY top notch story today called Soldier by Kendallgirl13. Anyway so right from the start Lester was my favourite Merry man coz he had more attitude, more personality, more guts, more willing to push the boundaries. Soldier is about where Steph and Lester get together and I tell you its freakin awesome! Equal first with the jamie stories! And I tell you I absolutely LOVED these stories so that means something to be equal to them. I decided that I'm going to post a list of my top five favourite stories on my profile so I'll go do that now. Not sure what the other four will be but thats a technicality. no need to worry about it yet.
cya!
schaefy

Christmas Cheer

2007-12-25T11:49:00.000+11:00

Hi guys,
Merry Christmas! Big party at our house today - thirty relatives... mum's stressing. As usual.. I'm wearing this really horrible dress which is too short to wear without leggings which are the wrong colour and make the outfit look worse. And the icing on the cake is the hot pink thongs. Needless to say I'm a little low on Christmas cheer. Coupled with the fact that I chose probably every single present bar two (What can I say, I like surprises?!) and am exhausted from late nights and helping mum cooking and working for the last week or two. I'm a tad flat at the moment. And i have no new reviews since twelve hours ago. Boohoo. Well that comes with not submitting an update. Soooo life's pretty mellow at the moment.

I got a Spice Girls CD though?! Then again i chose it and wanted so there you go. If anyone actually reads this leave a comment and tell me about your christmas... mine's a little weird you know? I was thinking about it this morning, it's the day most kids look forward to for the entire year (I'm a little older than a kid but still) and now I see it from my very cynical point of view. Christmas is just an excuse so spend shitloads of money on gifts we don't need and a massive meal most of which doesn't get finished. Sorry. I ruined Christmas for you. Well I feel if I an't enjoy it I don't see why you should?! Just kidding... It's just not very enchanting this year. Considering I was actually dreading it this year... i never dread christmas?? Even in my old age?? (Yeah take old age lightly, im actually pretty young).... anyways I just want to get out of christmas... I wanna get away to our holiday house now. I can exercise, work of the weight I gained since the soccer season (which I tell you I've been trying... I'll let you in on a secret - weight loss doesn't work around christmas. Just a little hint) and go to the beach. I'd say the fact that it's pretty overcast today would also couple with my grey mood.

So I'll leave you here with the promise that I'm writing the next chapter for the Superhero's Redemption at the moment - It's about half to three quarters done so I'll hopefully have it out tomorrow (Boxing Day). This will probably be the last update before January/February so enjoy it! I'll make it extra long just for you guys! Anyways... See ya soon hopefully.
Merry fuckin Christmas.
And A Crappy New Year.
Just kidding!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my readers - you all rock my socks!
Schaefy

Xmas cheer to all... cept me.

2007-12-24T22:45:00.000+11:00

Hey
Eh.. tired of this posted it three times already on three diff websites. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! And I won't be here until late January so you won't hear from me till then. The Superhero's Redemption is not finished yet but I'll leave you in a nice place!
Love,
Schaefy
cya in 08!

Me, My thoughts and I... section 2

2007-12-18T18:50:00.000+11:00

Sorry guys, busy day, busy day.

Anyways back to the Superheros Redemption, I'll tell you when I finish exactly what it was supposed to be like... really different to what it is now?! Interrupted again... dinner time...

Ok, back. Anyhow's I really loved writing it because it took the characters above and beyond where anyone had taken them before. Like with Ranger crying (more on that later - it's so weird saying Ranger cried. Seems so weak. AH!) and Steph being so close to him and the Rangeman guys and so miserable and lonely at the start and stuff; it really stimulates the story more I think. Most things weren't planned in this story - at the start I had a basic storyline mapped out but its again gone above and beyond what I had expected. I'm going to go through the story now so you can get a more in depth insight. And I can spill my guts. Enjoy!

Chapter 1:
Rangers POV
Ok so it was only like three sentences long. It looked longer when I handwrote it. lol, crappy excuse. I think if I was going to edit it, I would put a bit more foundation into it, it just doesn't get quite enough of the feelings I'm aiming for. So it needs a bit of fleshing out.

Stephs POV
This bit was such a sad bit to write, I find whenever I write that I often experience the emotions the characters are experiencing which can bring me to extremes at times. One of the reasons I find that I find emotion so easy to write Is that I try to get inside the character and imagine what they would be feeling, what their reactions would be. Except it wouldn't sound as tacky as that. It works though, the results are pretty genuine far as I can tell. This bit was so defeated, so lonely and so miserable to write and read. A different emotion for steph. The bit about her running... well I'm a bit of an excersise junkie and I can't stand her lazing around eating all that junk food so I said she went running for ranger. More like running for me. Lol, lab rat! The last paragraph about her realising that she had to get over Ranger.. Well, I was going to put in a flashback of her realisation - it was too... I dunno... too set up if you get my drift? Not quite believeable. But simpler to write - I think I ended up just forgetting anyways.

At the Bonds Office
The grass wasn't planned, like the bet (but I loved the line about how everybody does it), or the FTA's or Joe and Joyce. Actually pretty much the entire scene wasn't planned. I thought it was fuckin hilariously though. To write at least. I get the impression from some readers that they felt it slightly amusing as well. The whole thing about Joe and Joyce... well I dunno. I was fed up with them just having food fights and sniping at each other, I felt that one of them should make a definate move against the other. And no one ever included Joyce in most other fanfic stories so I started trying to think of ways to put her in somehow. And I came up with Joe and Joyce. And they will turn up later in the story just to hint you know?!

Chapter 2
The whole threatening thing was heaps fun to write, but I felt that I didn't quite get all the emotion across that I wanted. Like multiply whats there by ten and you might get close. Probably would improve with an edit. Maybe I'll edit the whole story once it's finished - I think it could improve a lot.

Chapter 3
Yea, the euphoria was a little short lived in the story - and I would have prefered to have time on her own to have her little think about Joe but it didn't fit in with the story so i just had another short section... but yea. The whole bit about Miller.. well that was half planned after I thought of him. Getting him in the gonads was a late edition. Originally I was going to have her waving her gun everywhere, then having her stun him while he mooned her... but then it eventually evolved into the crown jewels. The bit about him nearly raping her... well that I think was a little too much. but maybe called for. maybe.

Haa, the bit about the car was a last minute addition too. Being able to blow the car by shooting the gas tank is actually a myth, its not possible (well maybe REALLY remotely if you want to think hard) but I thought she needed to be shot. DOn't ask me why?! Just thought it needed excitement. Next chapter!

Chapter Four
Ahh chapter four. This is where I actually had started my plan, rough as it was. The original idea of the story was to have a series of gifts from Ranger which would eventually redeem him to Steph - but it has turned into so much more than that. I knew he was going to give her bottles of the flowery stuff and bulgari but I didn't think of the heart until I had nearly finished handwriting the section, and the engrving until I was typing it.. niiice. Talk about last minute additions.

Next. Rangers visit. I was actually in two minds about this. I wanted it cleared up what he wanted and meant by the gift, but I also wanted him to be shrouded in mystery - like steph would long to see him but could etcetcetc. So I put it in but made it just short enough to (hopefully) retain some of the mystery. I hope.

Chapter Five.
The necklace. Yeah, originally I was going to hve him give it to her later that day but i figured it fitted there better. So I put it there. I dunno why I put it on top of the gun, I just thought it was cute. So I did.

The gap of the few days. Again it fitted what I wanted but wasn't planned. But I liked that the presents were no longer like clockwork coming everyday, that they were more spaced out. Like Ranger took the time to decide when to give them to her. Moving on....

The explosion. Ok, this was SORT OF planned. I knew I wanted something to explode... a car ... ad that since I'm going for originality I didn't want it done by a molotov or firebomb or normal bomb. I wanted something different. So I came up with a C4, which essentially is a putty like substance which has the same consistency as putty. (I know that doesn't make sense, I can't be bothered to change it.) Anyway you can have just a normal detonator or an electronic detonator (which is more complicated to build and can go wrong more ways). So I opted for a normal detonator which is just a normal fuse. Less likely to go wrong, less accurate but wouldn't kill them (which is what I wanted). So I spent a while researching that and the amount I needed to put on/in the car. Which I didnt end up putting in anyways. I also hadn't planned on them getting hurt so badly. But I put it in just to see where it would go.

Chapter Six
Nyeh. Angsty to read, Angsty to write. The end is SO ANGSTY OMG! ... I should have just left it there to torture everybody! I didn't think. Oh well, theres always a next time. Hopefully.

Chapter Seven
The bit about Steph's zone, it ended up always annoying me that she couldn't accept what was happening without questioning it so I put it in. Phew. So much better. But I know its part of the books and I like it despite my annoyance.

Chapter Eight
Ahh, chapter eight. ANother angsty one. Since i've slacked off the last two chapters lets go in depth.

the sleeping.. well just an Idea, I didn't want to keep skipping to a few days later so I put that little section in there.

Next bit, I loved the line about all the things she could do when not on painkillers and sedatives. Very funny even if i do say so myself. I could just imagine her bouncing off the walls and I wanted it to be happy after angsty so I put that in there too. Tank? Well what can I say. I couldn't resist. I always imagine Tankie as a big softy so i loved having him getting close to steph. Fun to write I can tell you. Having Rangeman come and greet her was a little unrealistic about them all knowing her I know, but I really wanted it in there! It was fun to have! Made her feel like she actually had unwavering support and a family which actually loved her no matter what. Unlike her real family. The happiest weeks of her life - I think thats perfectly believable. I think she would have enjoyed the love of the rangeman guys as well as Tank Bobby and Lester. As for Lesters cast-art, funny. Funny funny. Wait, did I put that in yet? oops no. Don't read that yet. It hasn't happened yet.

Ranger's Office. Sigh. No idea what made me do it. Just.. I really have no idea. I don't even remember when i wrote it. I knew I wanted to have him cry (CRY??!!) in one of my stories, so I stuck it in there. Cry. Ranger crying. It sounds so weird when you say it. Or think it, whatever. I just couldn't imagine him doing something that is perceived as so weak. But thats why i put it in there I guess - I want to be more individual in my ideas, challenge the readers views of the characters. And I really wanted that about Ranger in there. Most of it was just impulse but I really loved the scene after it was finished - there's not a lot if anything I would change about it. Grief. I knew when you think he is grieving when she is still alive strange... but it makes sense to me. Its the best way to describe the emotion i thought he was experiencing. Anyways the chapter breaks here. More angst to come.

Chapter Nine
Oh the angst of it all. I love the last line.. impulse as well. This is a very impulsive story now. But I really love it. The chapters so short theres not much to say about it. But I love it. I love this story.

I'm sorry I didn't get around to updating the story tonight, I was just busy, and sometimes I just need a break you know? I'll regret it in the morning when I have no reviews to read. I love reading reviews, they make it so worthwhile. Its like heaps of people read the story, but all those who dont review I dont know if they liked it or not. It's like they didnt - I dont know! So I dont know how popular or othrwise my work is with readers. I can get a vague idea from favs/alerts/reviews but they are oftn from a select band of people who always read and review my work all the time. It's weird you know? Frustrating. Thats why im always calling for more reviews. Anyhows.

No doubt you're bored out of your wits by now, all i can say is that the next chapter will be out tomorrow sometime (possibly two if you're lucky... or if I can bother my ass) so yep. Looking forward to reading what you think!

schaefy

PS: It took me exactly an hour and three minutes to write this. I have no life. lol.

OMg.. Ranger cried! AH!

2007-12-18T10:13:00.000+11:00

Ello,
Wow guys! The reception to the last two chapters (8 and 9) has been amazing! I'm so glad you liked it! Man, Ranger crying was such a dilemma to write, I wasn't sure whether or not to put it in. I knew I wanted to somewhere in my writing, but it was so hard to know whether I was getting it right so that it was convincing for his character. But I think I hit pretty near the bullseye which is good to know. I love writing this story because so much of it wasn't planned and it incorporates so many extreme emotions that it's just incredible to write. I hope you're enjoying as much as I am!
More later, I desparately have to go out in 15 mins and im still in my pj's!
schaefy

grrr...

2007-12-12T17:48:00.000+11:00

Hey.
Piece o shit website. Ok, I finally started on The Superheroes Redemption and was just ready to post it when the freaking website busts. I mean wtf? Really irritating.. After I fill out the submission page it say "Page cannot be found" or something to that effect and doesn't post... bugger. It's been down since this morning. And the story has been finished since this morning.

ANyhows I'll keep trying tonight and if I can't well you'll just have to wait. Sorry guys..
cya
schaefy

Rest..ahh

2007-12-11T22:26:00.001+11:00

hey all,
Had a fun time today - went shopping (ok that bit wasn't so fun) for dresses. ew. then watched LOTR 1 while cleaning the silver. then went out to dinner and the chocolate shop. mmm! Pretty odd day huh?! ANyways it was the break I needed from fanfic - I now really want to get back into writing some more and reading your reviews!!!
So hopefully tomorrow I'll get some work done and post it. I wrote a oneshot about joe yesterday.. might post it and declar it as crap, I wasn't trying hard. I dunno.. I have my ideas storyboarded for the Batkid and I was just about to start writing the first one when I got interrupted but that's cool. So probably tomorrow is the day - its free apart from another date with LOTR 2 and the sivler polish.. its not that bad really. I mean its not my favourite thing to do in the world but its not agony. And I made a freakin huge fruitcake today too. I forgot. It used up one and a half kilos of mixed fruit. its freakin huge. lol. And I don't get any?! Until i make another one that is... lol.
Anyho's hopefully I'll hear from u soon!
schaefy

Hi again

2007-12-10T22:15:00.000+11:00

Yo all,
Just a quickie today, I need some sleep dammit?! Anyways todays news: I've started the sequel to It's all not true and it's called The Superheroe's Redemption. Haven't gotten very far yet but give me some credit here I'm trying! That'll probably be the one I work hardest on in the next couple of days - I want to get it finished for me and for you guys too!
Also out of a massive fit of procrastination (I really didn't want to start writing another chapter) I wrote a short oneshot about Morelli. Might possibly continue it - the idea is kinda "out there" off the beaten track kinda thing so maybe. Ya never know. I might even post it on fanfic.net... but tomorrow is another day.
Ok.. wat else happened? I started fine tuning the current ideas for "The Batkid". I ended up posting the prologue for half an hour then deleting it - theres no point losing hundreds of readers coz I don't have a story finished after it yet. So you'll have to wait for that one. Probably I'll write it tomorrow and post it.
Lol, I've gotten really lazy about writing and posting atm. But I spent the entirety of last week furiously writing, typing, editing and posting that I kinda need a break. But its not working?! I sort of sit in front of my book, pen in hand, waiting for the motivation to get me to write some more. Some break huh?

I'll get through it somehow. It's not that I don't have any ideas, just that I'm not in the mood. I dunno - I'll get back into it soon!

Gtg, my five mins are up!
Thanks guys you all rock!

schaefy

Story Alert!

2007-12-09T21:19:00.001+11:00

Hey guys,
I started Bittersweet Memories today and posted the first chapter just now. It was really amazing to write, very sort of.. it kinda got through to me. And if you think that sounds gay well screw you. It was like it was actually happening to me, like I was documenting my own feelings and reactions instead of Stephs. Kinda weird and depressing feeling huh. It was cool though, a good story to write. So I've finished up to after her dream - the next bit

WARNING :: SPOILERS

the next bit is about how she goes to Vegas to run away from the sadness and depression of Trenton. She finds that everywhere she goes reminds her of Ranger, so she runs away from everyone including Morelli, Tank and her family to Vegas. She stays there and the next chapter is set sixteen years later. She revisits Trenton, stronger than ever, now the best bounty hunter in Vegas probably most of America. She is co owner of a bail bonds company which dominates most of the North. She is much stronger now, and able to manage her feelings and use her hidden confidence and strength Morelli and her family stole from her. She comes back to visit Rangers grave, always wearing the charm he always wore to remind her of the sacrifices he made for her. The End. Is that not the most touching story?

I love it. I love the idea, the feelings, the insecurities, the faults and troubles. I love the description and depth of the character, how it really bares her soul and allows her to be swallowed in emotion. Wow.. I'm mellow now.

Anyways, I'll probably start the sequel to It's all not True (Ant) before BSM because that has been pending longer. And I love the new storyline I've cooked up for it too. So pleanty of writing and editing to be doing, as well as seeing long lost friends, prepping for christmas day and buying presents. But its cool. I love writing more than anything, because it allows me to express the feelings in my heart.

Not many people know but I suffer from depression, and I found writing was the best thing I could do. I couldnt talk to anyone, so i wrote poems and posted them on devart. It was the hardest thing to keep it all inside so I wrote it on paper and it gave me a certain amount of release. For those out there who share my condition, don't do what I did. Don't make the same mistakes. It has cost me months of my life. Months of being constantly sad and hopeless. Don't do it, just trust me on this one. I urge you - speak to someone. I havent. And I keep wishing I could. Dont keep it all inside. Because one time, it will burst and all come flooding out. All the feelings and sadness, all the hopelessness and desolation. And you'll have no control. You'll go down further than you were before. Its a relentless vicious cycle, so don't enter into it. Just don't. Coz once you're in its near impossible to get out.

I'll leave you on this cheerful note.
schaefy

Hi Again

2007-12-07T21:09:00.000+11:00

Hi everybody,
I'm back! .. just felt like saying that. I finished posting "It's all not true" today. I finished it earlier than I had originally intended so I can have a sequel. But now I'm not sure I'll post the new story as the sequel though. I just got a review saying that the ending was unexpected and that that was really good - not being predictable. So I was thinking maybe I'd leave it that way and post the sequel as a separate story. I'm not sure.. I'll read it over and think about it somemore.

Something I've found lately is that whenever (for whatever reason) I read over my stories again I always find that there is so much more I need to add to make it perfect?! It's such a frustrating feeling because I'm caught between being a perfectionist and getting feedback on them?! I'll probably end up just editing while they're already posted. I have a lot of work to do on "And it all came crashing down" though.. I dunno - It's just not perfect yet?! End of school today so I have heaps of time to write (which I am REALLY looking forward to!) and plenty of free time on top of that! YAY! OMG! I don't have to stay up late to get a quarter of what I want done! Hooray!

Cya later - might end up posting again tonight ya never know!!
lotsa love to ya all - you all rock!
schaefy

Hi Nobody

2007-12-05T19:44:00.000+11:00

Hey everybody,
Or nobody whichever way you want to look at it - no one actually reads this so.. nobody it is.

Anywho's I posted a new story today- "And it all Came Crashing Down".. literally. Its about when stephs apartment block collapses with her and Morelli inside it. Really sad!

Its cool though, i really like it. So now its onto the next story (for now) nicknamed "Bittersweet Memories" Of course after I finish "It's all not True" oopss.. lol I forgot. I'll try and finish it soon coz I really want to move onto some new ideas and get writing! Anway BSM is about.. well technically I can't tell you what its about coz it'll ruin the story. Its about when Ranger dies. Which is really sad. But all of my freaking stories are sad. What the hell is with that?

Ok, moving on.. When I was reading bowlingforshrimps series of stories about Jamie Plum I really liked the way she used just short stories about the same character in sequence - and I want to adopt that for at least one of my stories on the drawing board at the moment. Its a happy story about Steph finding her feet which will be either the first section or complete story - and then a series of short stories which are unrelated about her life after that. i really like this idea - originally I had extended it more, but I cut it off and made the rest of what I had thought up the first short story. I really like this (the story is nicknamed 'Jamie' coz I nicked the style from bowlingforshrimp) - and it's third on the list - after BSM and another story called "I can't say Stop" which is really sad too. That one will be longer - probably around the length of Plum Danger (about 10 000 words or a little less) so Jamie might not come out till end of january next year. Sorry - I dont have access to the internet when I'm away which is both annoying cos I cant post my stuff and read your reviews and good cos I wont be on it 24/7 and I can really work on my own stuff and let my imagination run rampage. Actually maybe that last one isnt so good.. lol!

But its cool - I'll finish all my stories before then (or leave you with a HUGE cliffhanger.. one of the two! lol) so you wont torture yourselves for a month.. or more?! I'm gonna shoot off now, time to check on your reviews, favs and hits and relax from writing a bit - I've spent all of my free time for the last week writing or editing or posting and I'd like some R&R atm!

Cya guys and I love you all - specially Jaime (Shesgothighhopes), KateManoso, Stephannie1014. Cookii, Chesnutfilly and Bookworm till the end -- you guys rock! Your all awesome!
thanks everybody,
lotsa love,
schaefy

Oh crap!

2007-12-04T19:27:00.000+11:00

Hey guys,
so sorry - I messed up the chapters in "It's all not true" * head bang on desk* sooo stupid. I dunno.. anyway i changed it round do Im really sorry about that.

I'm have a new songfic idea Im about to write to the song "end of the world" by David Campbell. Its a Cupcake again (I feel kinda guilty about only writing babe fics so i figured I write a few cupcake oneshots since I have 4 stories on the drawing board to write... lol) but I wont say anything - ya hafta read it!

So I actually have a drawing board now - A whiteboard on my wall which has the order im gonna write my stories in. Lol, I needed to set them straight. I have a couple of ideas I really like so they're first then it moves down. I like them all - just some better than others. at a glance They're all babe fics (nyehh!) Ones cupcake then turns babe. thats one of my fav ones - the first one on the list to write so it should be out soon!

Im gonna write the 'end of the world' fic now and hopefully have it written by tonight to post.
Cya for now, i'll probably post later!

lotsa love to all my readers- your the best!
schaefy

Woah!

2007-12-03T20:54:00.000+11:00

Hey guys
Sorry having two REALLY hecitc msn convo's.. woah. My friend just discovered msn (man a couple of years late ther?!) and she wont shut up. Its kinda cute. She just discovered emoticons. And nudges. SHUT THE FUCK UP! lol. Ok shes left now. Phew! Omg that was hectic. Pretty funny though. I taught her the clam game which my friend made up. All you have to do is type clam as many times as you want in separate messages and say I win whenever you want. Pretty pointless but fun if u have like ten ppl playing it.

ANyways, I put up a new story today - "A little bite of Cupcake" a oneshot where Joe proposes to steph. I really loved writing it, coz it was modelled on a real engagemnt that happened like that. SOO SWEET! I really loved writing something happy for steph though - most of my ideas are sad and it was fun writing ssomething feel good. I think I'll write something feel good next. I have an idea or two which should be good. So yay. I have heaps of other ideas and one that I just though of which'll be funny. It's totally awesome. Shall write it soon - im writing all my ideas down in a book so I dont 4get them as well as any good random phrases or actions that dont fit in anywhere yet. But its awesome. Im loving life atm. Its TOTALLY FREAKIN AWESOME!! Man Im so positive atm. yay!

Ive read a couple of stories lately -- especially bowlingforshrimps Jamie storys -- and its made me realise I need to make stephanie my own, more individual. I have an Idea about ranger maybe. but steph is gonna take a little bit longer, But we'll get there in the end.

I have a really great idea i just though of. Again.. I swear if I keep going like this by friday I'll have enough ideas to keep me going through the entirety of next year. I really like the idea I jsut though of though - its bitter sweet. I'll definately write it.

Well cya's all for another night - I'll update "It's all not true" tomorrow - I just wanted to post "A little bite of Cupcake" tonight coz I loved it and it was like nothing i'd ever written before AND i wanted to hear wat u guys think. Since I posted it at the wrong time for u guys in the US I wont get any reviews til tomorrow (which is killing me I can tell u) so I'll just have to wait till then.
Until then, adieu!

a very happy schaefy!

New story out!

2007-12-02T22:06:00.000+11:00

Hey guys,
I just read the fuck funniest story every written in the history of mankind. Beyond description.. i felt like throwing up i was suppressing laughter for so long. Called The Random Adventures of Dorothy and Toto by bowlingforshrimp. Omg. FUnny.

Moving on from this, I submitted two chapters of the new songfic idea I had. It's called "It's all Not True" and its about how Steph leaves Morelli for Ranger, but Ranger rejects her. They're both miserable, can they get back together? I had a lot of fun writing it, even if it is a depressing topic. I have a couple more ideas, but I really want to write something funny and entertaining, even if it is just a oneshot. I have another big story idea, but that's gonna come after ANT (It's all not true) Probably end up being in the holidays. Its good, but still sad. A much different time period to anything else i've written but I really like it. Anyways back to ANT, its got 8 great reviews and about 220 views but I submitted it when all my usual readers would be in bed. So hopefully by tomorrow morning there will be heaps more views and maybe a fav or two!

But for now I need to get some sleep - i've been running low lately. I think I'll write a one shot tonight too, just coz I'm in the funny mood.

And I just thought up of the BEST story idea. Ok its not that great but its totally awesome!

schaefy

PS: I FINISHED PLUM DANGER! LOOK OUT FOR IT!

Plum Holey: I gave up...
Plum Danger: Completed
ANT: Chapter 3 to be typed
Other ideas being developed!

OMG New story!

2007-12-01T20:16:00.000+11:00

Hey guys!
Wassup! I have excitng news! Since I posted last time I have completed the story Plum Danger! Yay! Its not long in comparison with other fanfic stories but for the first completed story I don't really care. I'm considering writing a sequel.. I think it would be interesting. But we'll see what you guys say.

WARNING!!>> PLUM DANGER SPOILERS!!!

Plum Danger is essentially where Morelli cuffs her to her couch because he thinks shes sleeping with ranger, when she hasnt. He breaks up with her and leaves her in her apartment, cuffed to the couch. Ranger is away for the next few days so he cant save her. then the brother of one of her FTA's comes and "punishes" her because by arresting her FTA she messed up the biggest drug ring to hit the north. Ranger finds her after nearly three days, beaten and starved. He helps her recuperate and look after herself afterwards. He has to go out for ten minutes and stephs attacker comes back. She shoots him in the arm and runs away in Rangers Porsche. Ranger was beaten and drugged and isnt found till the next day. He and the MM try to find her and track her down at Atlantic City. And the rest you'll have to read!

I had a lot of fun writing this story - I knew where it was going (wow?!) and it seemed fun and people liked it. I loved writing chapter 9 where ranger wants steph back, it was such a lovely scene to write - for once to show his tender side toward her which I love. It's been fun.

I have to go post the last chapter.
Tooroo!
schaefy

Plum Danger: FINISHED!!
Plum Holey: Not likely to be finished.
Blackmor Files: Given up on this one...!

New Ideas:
2 new songfics and a babe story to come hopefully - look out for them!

Entry No.1

2007-11-20T19:25:00.000+11:00

Hey,
Well I figured that I needed somewhere to write down all my thoughts as a fanfic writer so readers can check on the status of stories i'm writing and read any short stories or sections I write for the hell of it.
So right now I'm writing the Blackmor Files and Plum holey. I've got direction for the Blackmor files but I've sort of lost motivation. I dunno whether I'll finish it. But I like Plum Holey, but lack direction. Some thinking to be done for that one. But I have a great new Idea (Plum Danger) thats completely mapped out and just requires writing now. Its a collaboration of a few ideas I've had over the last few weeks and I really like the look of it. But It's a really long sort of one so it's going to take a while to write. Like ages long. But hey, it shall be cool.
Check in soon for a progress report!
schaefy

The Blackmor Files: Chapter 3 to be written. No progress likely for a week or two.
Plum Holey: Chapter 4 to be written. Progress likely in the next week or two.
Plum Danger: (crappy name I know) Storyboard stages. Progress likely in the next few weeks.
Cheers,
schaefy